


Minerva McGonagall and the Secret Rendezvous

by Arch  (Arch)



Category: Harry Potter - Rowling
Genre: F/M, Humor, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-11-15
Updated: 2009-11-15
Packaged: 2017-10-03 00:29:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arch/pseuds/Arch%20
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An after-hours rendezvous with the Headmaster has McGonagall's tartan all awhirl.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Minerva McGonagall and the Secret Rendezvous

'You mark my words, any man with that much hair has something to hide,' sniffed the portrait on the wall.

Minerva McGonagall glared at her mother's image, faintly scandalised. 'Oh, honestly, Mother!' she exclaimed as she yanked a brush through her hair. 'It's _Professor Dumbledore_. I hardly think he would be allowed to continue as Headmaster if there were any evidence whatsoever that he was secretly a raving, homicidal lunatic.'

'You can never be too careful!' warned the portrait, but Minerva just rolled her eyes. 'Are you really going to leave your hair like that?' it added. 'My dear, you may be brilliant, but this teaching job can't last forever. How do you expect to find a decent husband if you don't even make an _effort_ to look nice? A few cosmetic charms never hurt anyone. And, really, dear, all that tartan...'

Minerva blushed furiously and mumbled something.

'Speak up!' commanded her mother. 'Ladies always enunciate clearly.'

'Never mind,' Minerva replied sharply. 'I need to leave, or else I'm going to be late.'

'But your _hair_,' wailed the portrait, as she hastily grabbed her wand and cloak. 'You always pull it back -- why don't you leave it down? Curl it for a change?'

'Because, Mother, I am a grown woman and I can do my hair however I wish,' she retorted. 'Good-bye.'

She started to slam the door, but then poked her head back in. 'Mother!' she called.

Her mother edged back into the portrait frame, looking altogether too innocent. 'Yes, darling?'

'Promise me that you will not mention any of this to the other portraits, _especially_ the Fat Lady.'

'Of course I won't! Minerva, there's no need to glare at me like that; I'm not a student. My lips are sealed.'

Minerva glared for a moment longer, then whipped around and closed the door behind her.

By the time she reached the statue that guarded the entrance to the Headmaster's office, she was so excited that she had to stop and force herself to take deep, even breaths. Her entire body was quivering. _This is ridiculous_, she told herself sternly. _Control yourself._ 'Peppermint humbug,' she said, and was pleased that her voice only shook slightly.

The gargoyle swung aside, and she stepped onto the moving staircase. Her palms were getting sweaty now, and she wondered for the thousandth time why Professor Dumbledore wanted to meet with her on Valentine's Day after the students were already in bed.

She reached the top and rapped on the Headmaster's door.

'Come in,' he said pleasantly. 'Ah, Professor McGonagall. Please sit down.'

Minerva cleared her throat as she headed for the chair toward which he gestured. She wished her mother had not pointed out how much hair the man had. Suddenly it did seem excessive.

Professor Dumbledore's eyes twinkled unnervingly at her. Since she had left Hogwarts as a student, the only other time she had really been this close to him while they were alone was during her interview just a couple of months ago. She was not quite sure that she enjoyed the feeling that he was looking right through her, especially since her treacherous brain apparently would not stop shouting the phrase _criminally hairy_, but he was the greatest wizard in the world and she supposed that penetrating gazes were only to be expected.

'May I offer you some chocolates?' asked Dumbledore politely, producing a box from somewhere and extending it across the desk to her.

'Oh! Yes, please,' she replied, and selected a nougat. 'Thank you.'

There was an awkward pause as she bit into the chocolate and discovered that it was actually filled with something that tasted like wet dogs smell. She choked it down and smiled painfully. Was the man laughing at her? She couldn't tell because of the damned beard. 'Delicious,' she said thickly as she tried not to grimace. 'Quite... unique.'

'Is it?' he asked, with that maddening, mischievous twinkle in his eyes.

What did he want? She decided to be blunt. 'Frankly, Professor, it's vile,' she said. 'I've never tasted a more wretched abomination of chocolate in my life, and that includes Cockroach Clusters. Now, shall we get down to business? Why did you ask me to meet you here tonight?'

Dumbledore nodded approvingly. 'It has come to my attention,' he said, 'that certain members of the staff seem to be harbouring, ah, romantic feelings for certain other members of the staff.'

Minerva was horrified. She had been so careful! So discreet! No one could possibly have known about her silly crush! She kept her face carefully arranged in a mask of neutrality. 'Oh?' she asked, with just the right touch of dispassionate inquisitiveness.

'Indeed,' said Dumbledore, leaning back in his chair and directing his attention to a whirring silver instrument on the far wall. 'And for better or worse, whatever the outcome may be, I think it best to deal with these rumours immediately, before things get out of hand with the staff.'

'Ah,' Minerva replied sagely.

'Now, you have only been with us for a very short time, Professor McGonagall, but your charms have not gone unnoticed,' continued Dumbledore, still staring at the wall. 'There is one particular member of the staff who feels so passionately about you that he has arranged this meeting here with you tonight, on the most romantic night of the year.'

Her heart leapt. Was it possible...? Perhaps she could persuade him to do something with the beard.

'I must warn you, though -- if you choose to pursue this relationship, you must use the greatest discretion. The students must never suspect anything; utmost caution will be required. Do you understand me, Professor?'

She nodded, feeling speechless and dazzled, two sensations that were so foreign to her as to be nigh unrecognizable.

'Excellent,' he said, rising from his chair and walking around the desk.

Speechless bedazzlement turned into excited panic. Was Professor Dumbledore going to kiss her? She closed her eyes as he neared her chair, tried not to think about the massive amounts of hair, and waited --

But he walked right past her and opened the door. 'Horace?' she heard him say. 'Please go on in and make yourself at home. I rather fancy a nice stroll around the castle this moonlit night.'

As Professor Slughorn entered the room, Minerva felt sure she heard the distinct sound of her mother's giggle.

She would never live this down.   



End file.
